Great facebook status lines

1) feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes

2) used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything

3) is wondering.... if money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

4) says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

5) is cle'a]ni.ng he'r ke]yb29oa;rd

6) thinks if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.

7) proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

8) is wondering why his daughter's diaper holds no where near the 22-37 pounds it promises.

9) says, "Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby."

10) has advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

11) is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark

12) doesn't suffer from insanity... he enjoys every minute of it.

13) says "pardon me, but your status is showing"

14) is words that end in "izzle".

15) just wants to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes CAN change your life!"

16) is wondering if he can qualify for a government bailout package?

17) is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Liz may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Liz is right for you.

18) before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, so when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

19) is out of order until further notice. We apologize for the inconvenience

20) says, Love your enemies. It will confuse them!

21) says cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues.

22) is thinking if 90% of the people in the world dont have it, why do they call it common sense?

23) says, "I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect."

24) would have sent you some virtual chocolates but he virtually ate them all.

25) is hoping her mind is having a good vacation and will come back soon!